


Don't Make a Scene

by synvamp



Category: RWBY
Genre: ...for Qrow anyway, Alcohol, Clover tries so hard to be professional, Crack, Elm just encourages the madness, I'm back in crack, If Qrow is like that at WORK, M/M, Qrow is a naughty boy, Search me daddy, Vol 3 Qrow, What is he like in the club?!, all fun and games, i love it, so much crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:13:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24432643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synvamp/pseuds/synvamp
Summary: Vol 3 Qrow is wild, sassy and far too flirty for his own good. Vol 7 Clover is sweet and warm-hearted, but his favourite hobbies are still bootlicking and being respectable. When James sends Clover out to check up on Qrow during a night out on the town, he thinks it's going to be easy. Get in, make sure Qrow isn't doing TOO much damage and get out. But Qrow Branwen is a bisexual menace and he's not going to let a golden opportunity like this pass him by.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Comments: 33
Kudos: 101





	Don't Make a Scene

\---xxx---

_Start in the seediest bar in Mantle and go from there._

That was what the General had said.

_Start at the seediest bar in Mantle. And when you find him, just check on him… ok? I just want to ensure he’s ok. Don’t make a scene._

And here Clover was in the middle of one of the worst dives in Mantle with Renowned Huntsman Qrow Branwen clinging to his legs and laughing his head off.

_Perfect._

\---xxx---

They were only three bars in when Clover spotted the red cape. It flitted in and out of sight in the heaving throng of dancers. The floor was sticky beneath his feet and the air was tainted with the smell of beer and stale cigarette smoke. It was disgusting really but apparently this was the type of place that the General knew Qrow would come.

Clover turned back to Elm and pointed, not trying to be heard over the thumping bass. She followed his gesture and smiled when she saw the cape fluttering in the crowd.

“He seems ok to me!” she shouted, grinning at the happily flailing form, “Guess that’s a wrap for us then!” She turned around to head to the door, nearly careening into a small girl who had stumbled into her path. “Oopsie!” she said, scooping the lass up with one hand and popping her back on her feet.

The young woman was only about twenty, small, brunette and unsteady. Her eyes widened as the large hand patted her on the shoulder, “T-t-t-t-thanks,” she said, blushing as she scuttled away.

“Think you have a fan there,” Clover laughed, “Uhhh would it be ok if we stayed just a few more minutes?” he asked.

“This doesn’t strike me as your scene but ok,” she shrugged easily, indulging him.

“I… just want to talk to him… make sure he’s really ok…”

Her eyebrows went up a little but she let it slide. _Thank you._

They turned back and stood at the bar. After a time, Qrow’s slight form disengaged itself from the surging mass of dancers and strode over. The way he moved was a little clumsy, limbs swaying with more than their usual swagger, but his eyes were clear and when he saw them, he smiled.

“Lucky charm! Elm! Business or pleasure?” he grinned, looking at their starched uniforms.

“Sadly, all business,” Clover smiled.

“What a shame,” Qrow grinned, “You always struck me as all business up front, party in the back…” he mused, “Pity about the coat tails really,” Qrow’s eyes slowly rolled down his body, “Didn't think you were the type to cover up their greatest _ass_ et either but I guess I don’t know you that well…”

Clover blinked, hard, as the gleaming red eyes continued to devour him. Behind him, Elm snorted.

“Uhhh… I…”

“Business?” Qrow asked.

“What?” Clover asked. He’d completely forgotten where this conversation had started.

“What’s your _business_ then?” Qrow asked, leaning his elbow on the bar. He came forward close enough that Clover could smell the whiskey on his breath, feel the heat of his skin.

“We just wanted to make sure you’re ok.”

“Me?” Qrow looked confused, and then annoyed, “What? The General thinks I can’t take care of myself?”

“Just a quick stop over,” Clover said, trying to defuse the situation.

“Well, as you can see, I’m _fine._ I’m not even drunk,” Qrow said, turning to stride off. As he did, his foot caught in the leg of a bar stool and he toppled into Clover’s arms.

Clover looked down in surprise.

“Not drunk hmmm?” Elm mused, chuckling.

“That was my semblance,” Qrow defended. He brought one hand up and Clover expected to be pushed away but instead long, nimble fingers circled on his chest, “Mmmmm…” Qrow hummed, making no attempt to move.

“So…” Clover coughed, “Perhaps you should come back with us?”

“Hey now boy scout, my night has barely started! Unless you two had something special in mind?” he looked up at Clover and winked.

“Ahaha no way!” Elm laughed, “I will leave you two to it, thank you!”

Clover gave her a glare, _A little help here!?_

“Awww you guys look so cosy,” Elm smiled, snapping a photo with her scroll.

That was the _last_ straw. Clover lifted Qrow up firmly and set him back on his feet. “There, now you enjoy yourself and try not to get into trouble.”

“Yes _daddy_ ,” Qrow said, twitching his brows.

“I should have got a video,” Elm sighed.

“Anyway!” Clover coughed, “Have fun.” He turned sharply to leave but strong hands wrapped firmly around his waist.

Qrow’s voice was husky, his hair tickled Clover’s ear, “I’ll have a _lot_ more fun if you stay…”

“I…” Clover tried not to notice the weight of Qrow’s body at his back, the heat of it… the way Qrow pressed into him, every curve fitting together like they were born for this, “have to work…”  
  


“No, no that’s not true!” Elm grinned, a malicious twinkle lighting her eyes, “Our shift finishes in ten minutes. I’d be happy to send the report to the General if you want to stay.”

Clover glared at her. There was no way he could stay here. It was one in the morning and he was in his full Ace Ops uniform. And it was the third diviest bar in town. And his feet were sticking to the floor. _Ew._

“You trying to get away lucky charm?” Qrow huffed into his ear, “I’m not so easy to get rid of,” his arms tightened.

“Qrow… don’t make a scene…” Clover started.

“A scene?” Qrow’s voice rose in volume, “ _Me!?_ ” he laughed and slowly slid down to the floor, still clasping Clover’s legs.

“Oh for…” Clover started, struggling to turn around so Qrow wasn’t hugging his ass. Elm laughed so hard she had to lean on the bar, “Yes, thanks Elm. Qrow, get up.”  
  


“If you want to take me home you’ll have to carry me!” Qrow shouted.

The bartender looked over and shook his head. Several of the people around them had stopped what they were doing to gawk and Clover was suddenly painfully aware that he was in his full uniform with a grown man clinging to his thighs.

“Qrow, _get up_ …”

“But the view is so good from here,” Qrow grinned, he smiled up and Clover had a second revelation which was a lot worse than the first. Qrow’s face was terrifyingly close to his crotch. And he was not being subtle about this fact. His eyes were firmly trained on the bulge and his smile had taken on a little crooked twist.

“ _Qrow_ ,” Clover hissed, trying not to move in case anything _happened._

“Yes, gorgeous?” Qrow said to his crotch.

“ _Get up_.”

“ _Make me_ , soldier boy.”

Clover took a deep breath. The crowd was growing by the minute. He hated to do this but right now he really couldn’t think of any other way.

“Qrow, I’m not going to carry you. I’m technically your commanding officer while you’re in Atlas so _get up_.”

“Ohhhhhh soldier boy is going to make it _an order_ ,” Qrow laughed, “Well in that case, if you want to take me home you’ll have to carry me, _Siiiiirrrrr_.”

“This is gold,” Elm said, sighing happily.

“Elm!” Clover growled, starting to turn red.

“What? What do you want me to do? I stopped filming didn’t I?” she smirked.

“Take me home, daddy! I’ve been so naughty!” Qrow shouted, as a ripple of laughter travelled around the bar.

Clover set his jaw. He focussed on the stink of the place, the way the sweat in the air made his skin gritty… anything but the heat of him. The feeling of Qrow’s hands snaking around his thighs, his upturned face inches from…

“ _That’s it_ ,” Clover said.

“Ohhhh you’re in for it now, Branwen,” Elm laughed.

“Is daddy going to punish me? Oh I’m so sc..” Qrow started, his sentence turning into a yelp as Clover picked him up by his collar. He held Qrow dangling in front of his face and gave him the sternest schoolmaster face he could manage, and then threw the man over his shoulder.

Elm exploded into laughter.

“ _We’re going_ ,” Clover announced to the entire bar, circling one arm around Qrow’s waist to hold him in place.

“Police brutality!” Qrow shouted with glee, kicking and flailing with very token resistance.

Even the bartender was laughing at this point.

“I’m sorry for the disturbance, Sir,” Clover said to him, “We’ll be on our way.”

“Search me, daddy!” Qrow shouted.

“Oh my goodness…” Elm shook her head.

Clover turned sharply and left with as much dignity as he could scrape up off the sticky floor. He felt a wave of relief when he was finally back out in the freezing Solitas air.

“Well, that went well,” Elm grinned.

“I’m not talking to you,” Clover grumbled.

“I do go to bars to pick up but it’s been a long time since I’ve been on the receiving end,” Qrow said from his position slung over Clover’s shoulder.

“Oh, so you’ve decided to calm down a little have you?” Clover asked.

“Absolutely not,” Qrow insisted.

“Then perhaps I could put you down?”

“Absolutely not,” Qrow insisted.

Clover heard the sound of a camera shutter. He turned and Elm grinned, “Say cheese!”

“Cheese!” Qrow said, kicking with glee.

“This is one for the album, I think,” Elm nodded, putting her scroll away.

Clover took a deep breath through his nose. Qrow’s ass was right in his face. Like _right there_. It was not making anything easy. Walking, thinking, not getting extremely aroused…

He dumped Qrow on the sidewalk and thought about his grandmother. Not the ass. Not thinking about the ass.

“Oh, maybe I am a little drunk,” Qrow said, stumbling and collapsing onto his chest.

“Qrow, we’re going back to the Academy and you’re walking,” Clover said in his best Mr Military No Nonsense voice.

Qrow clung to him, “Oh but I’m so dizzy… what if I fall over!?”

“Well, my shift is over, so I’m off!” Elm called out, as she started to stride away.

“Wait, no!” Clover choked out, “Come on, I can’t just leave him here.”

“He’ll be fine,” she sung out, waving merrily over her shoulder, “Later!”

“Just the two of us then? _Lucky me_ ,” Qrow said. Clover looked down and the red eyes twinkled with mischief. 

“Qrow, can you just stand up?” Cover pleaded. _Damn Elm! How could she just leave him here like this!?_

“I… don’t think I can… I’m so weak…” Qrow gasped dramatically, leaning on him.

“Haven’t you had enough of this?!” Clover huffed, starting to get genuinely annoyed now.

“Not even close,” Qrow winked up at him.

Clover took a deep breath and sighed. Then he put one arm under Qrow’s arms and one under his knees and scooped him up, bridal style.

“Yes, this is how we roooollllll,” Qrow cackled.

“I’m never going to live this down, you know,” Clover sighed as he started the long walk back to the Mantle hanger bay.

“But isn’t it fun?” Qrow asked, his arms circling Clover’s neck.

“You’re drunk Qrow, give it a rest.”

“Actually, I’m sober. I only had two drinks before you got there.”

Clover stopped walking, “You’re kidding right?”

“Nope. I spotted you when you came in and thought I might have a little fun. Geez you’re warm. Now _this_ is the way to travel,” Qrow sighed, snuggling in to him.

“You… _Qrow_ ,” Clover sighed.

“Yeah, I know. I guess you can put me down if you really want to… I promise not to run away,” Qrow smirked.

Clover looked down at him; those wide red eyes, that slightly crooked, sultry smile…

_I have clocked off._

“Maybe I should carry you back to the barracks, just in case. It’s pretty slippery out here with all the ice…” he said slowly.

“You know what’s really dangerous?” Qrow asked, his eyes twinkling.

“No, what?” Clover asked, starting to walk again.

“My room. I found a spider in there the other week. It was _huge._ I don’t think I’m safe there alone.”

“That so?” Clover asked, suppressing a grin.

“And you never searched me! I could be carrying _anything_ ,” he bit his bottom lip and grinned.

“ _Qrow_ …”

“Yes, daddy?”

“You are the _worst_.”

“I absolutely am. _I promise_ ,” and his hand cupped Clover’s jaw lightly, pulling him down into eager lips.

In his office, General Ironwood watched the downtown, south side boardwalk camera feed. The street was quiet, barely anyone in sight except for the muscled figure of a tall man in a full Ace Ops uniform, passionately kissing the dishevelled form in his arms.

James shook his head and smiled.

\---xxx---


End file.
